Sometimes sleep doesn’t find me…

I know many of us lie in our beds at night replaying  the day or coursing through the memories in our heads. Some of us mask our pain well, while others fight through the urges to release pent up demons. We lie in our beds peering at the ceiling, listening at the noises that sound out in the background. Some of us are taken back to dark places in our lives and that pain forms in our eyes and now we lie on tear soaked pillows. We get that feeling in our throat where former pain is trying to force it’s way out of our mouths. We wore masked smiles during the day and displayed happiness only to lay in the bed lonelier than before. We shake our heads and become fed up that we were led out of the storm but still covered in rain. And we just lie and wonder when will the clouds that hover over us  completely dry out. When will this happiness that we seek will be found. And we wonder if true love is written in those clouds, because where I stand only darkness is found. Sometimes sleep doesn’t find me…just this empty bed to which I am bond! -Valerie Rene’a

Letter to her

Letter to her… I received your letter today and I must admit it took a lot in me to open it. I don’t know how many nights I tried convincing you that with was were I wanted to be. I couldn’t take no more of the arguing and screaming, nor the constant accusations of me cheating. I don’t know what happened to us, you let the women of my past dictate what matter to us. Yet I still love you. You were the best thing that happened to me. You don’t think I miss all those things you spoke of in your letter to me. I miss your scent as you pressed up against me. I miss those stressful nights where you would grab my hand and say “baby come pray with me”. I miss how you motivated me and push me towards the man I came to be. But somehow your thoughts became cloudy and you lost your faith in me. I never thought we’d end up like this, this separation between us. I was the best man to you that I knew how to be, and those words I spoke to you, I was speaking truthfully. Shit, thought of losing you just hit me..But, I’m not like your last dude, so stop mistaking me.
Valerie Rene’a
#valerierene’a

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Letter to him

Letter to him… I know a lot of time has passed since we last spoke. I had a habit of letting the past interfere with our present, now look at what we’re left with. I let my stubbornness get in the way, my ego came into play. I was afraid of rejection, afraid to speak up, afraid to right the wrongs between us. You meant more to me than I was willing to admit, it pained me to watch you walk out the door with all your belongings. I wanted to call out to you but the words never formed between my lips. I was taught if you loved something let it go and if it returned then it was meant to be, that’s bullshit. I should’ve fought harder because of what you meant to me. I got this pen in my hand and this pad on my knees replaying our moments together from my memory. I remember how we use to laugh together, how we motivate one another,  and how we could sit in silence and still feel so much pleasure. I love you. I realize now that I took for granted what I had because I couldn’t imagine I’d ever lose something that mattered. I was a fool and here I am hoping that this letter finds you…Soon!
Valerie Rene’a
#valerierene’a

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When Does He Stop Being Someone’s Baby?

​Dear Mama
I know you’re missing me and you hate that I lost my life senselessly at the hands of a cop that put his mark on me. I know that the media made my past catch up with me by displaying my rap sheet and now history will always see me as a savage being. I know now that my blood that painted the streets has been washed away from the crime scene. I know the cops you saw on your TV screen said that they can “justify killing me”. Now my seeds are left with memories of me,  my friends and family wear t-shirts saying rest in peace to me, they even pour out their liquor for me; some laughed and shared a few of their favorite times with me . Mama I didn’t know when I woke up this morning that it would be the last time I walked out the door. Mama I didn’t know that I would be another Black man with a Hash tag to hit the floor. I know you’ll fight for me while they examine my body and put that ice on me.  Mama I’m ok now; they saw the tapes, they know my name now, and I know they will stand up and rally for me…Tell me, when do our black men stop being somebody’s baby? -Valerie Rene’a

#valerierene’a

#poetry #love #blackart #blackwriters #blacklove #blessed #poet #poem #yourfavoritepoet #art #artist #author #yourfavoriteauthor #queen #king #mental #appealing #Amazon #newread #poetrycorner #mustread #doubletap #blackauthors #spokenword #hiddendesires #newbook #newrelease #mustread